Glimpses of the Other Side
by B.A. Tyler
Summary: A series of 100-word AU drabbles inspired by various episodes throughout all 11 seasons. Updated with drabbles 38 through 40 - now complete.
1. Unknown Soldier

**Author's Note:** First there was _Glimpses_, drabbles inspired by seasons 1 through 3. Then came _More Glimpses_, drabbles for seasons 4 through 11.

Now we have _Glimpses of the Other Side_, a collection of alternate-universe drabbles. These turn the episodes sideways or upside down and examine other possibilities than the ones you saw.

----

(Inspired by the episode "Tuttle.")

**Unknown Soldier**

Off to the side, well-hidden behind the camouflage netting, Captain Jonathan Tuttle watched as Hawkeye appeared before General Clayton—and everyone assembled—and announced, "There is no Tuttle."

The eulogy that followed was beautiful. Not that you'd expect anything less from that silver-tongued Pierce.

The entire camp saluted his memory.

Tuttle had to roll his eyes. All those people who'd never given him the time of day… acted as though he were invisible. All of a sudden he was this hero to them or something.

I guess it's true, he thought. You're never truly appreciated until you're gone.


	2. You Never Hear the Bullet

(Inspired by the episode "Sometimes You Hear the Bullet.")

**You Never Hear the Bullet**

Smiling broadly, Hawkeye cracked open the hardcover book that he'd just received in the mail and looked at the title page.

_Dedicated to Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce and all the men like him serving in Korea._

Below that, in Tommy's familiar scribble:

_Dear Hawk,_

_Obviously this book would never have happened without you. Thanks for your friendship and—oh yeah—for that whole "saving my life" thing. _

_Love and kisses, Tommy _

_P.S. Be sure to tell Henry I said hi._

Laughing softly, wiping away a tear or two, Hawkeye took a seat on his cot and turned to Chapter One.


	3. For the Kid in Bed 6

(Inspired by the episode "Radar's Report.")

**For the Kid in Bed 6**

I never told anyone about the time Trapper killed a man.

I don't mean he botched an operation. I mean he deliberately killed him. And I stood there watching.

A Chinese prisoner went berserk in the OR and busted the last bottle of AB-negative blood, endangering the kid Trapper was working on. The kid in bed 6, Trapper called him.

_The kid in bed 6 has gone sour on me. _

We never got to operate a second time.

I found Trapper standing over the Chinese POW.

I kept thinking, _First do no harm._

But I never said a word.


	4. Father and Son

(Inspired by the episode "Kim.")

**Father and Son**

"You wandered off into a minefield."

"I really don't remember that."

"You could've been blown to bits."

"Woulda saved you the hassle of adopting me."

Trapper smiled warmly. "But think of all the things I would've missed out on. Tossing ball with my son out in the backyard."

"Becky tosses a pretty mean ball."

"Teaching you how to shave. I certainly couldn't have done _that_ with Becky. And don't even say what you're thinking, young man." They both laughed. "Anyway, now look where you are. Your first day of med school."

"I'll make you proud, Dad."

"You already have, Kim."


	5. A Big Red Bird with Fuzzy Pink Feet

(Inspired by the episode "The Trial of Henry Blake.")

**A Big Red Bird with Fuzzy Pink Feet**

Klinger couldn't believe his good luck. He'd made it! He'd actually managed to fly his contraption out of camp—by at least 10 miles.

He stowed his glider behind a rock, his mind spinning. He'd start out walking, maybe later he could hitch a ride. By the time he was reported AWOL, he'd be long gone.

He started down the road, shaking his head in disbelief that his scheme had actually worked—

And then he was face-to-face with a troop of North Koreans, pointing guns at him, and he knew his luck hadn't been so good after all.


	6. It's Lonely at the Top

(Inspired by the episode "The Sniper.")

**It's Lonely at the Top**

Henry stared out the window of the shower tent, horrified. Radar lay on the ground in a pool of blood, unmoving… probably dead.

Henry's heart hammered. He'd let this happen. He was supposed to be the leader… the commander.

And what had he done? Let his company clerk, a naïve Iowa farmboy, go out into the compound where a sniper had opened fire. His only words of wisdom? "Radar, it's not very safe out there."

That was it. No order to stay inside. No offer to take the lad's place.

And now look at the outcome.

Way to go, _commander_.


	7. Turning Point, Take One

(Inspired by the episode "Hot Lips and Empty Arms.")

**Turning Point, Take One**

Once upon a time, a letter from an old friend had lit a fire under Margaret, sent her scrambling for a transfer out of the loony bin known as the 4077th and toward a normal life.

She'd transferred Stateside, was married 8 months later to Peter, had little Jenny 10 months after that. Clockwork.

And like clockwork, Peter was standing over her now, drunk, his hand raised, like every other Saturday night of her life for the past 5 years.

Margaret closed her eyes and in a moment of sudden clarity, knew exactly when her life had started to unravel.


	8. Turning Point, Take Two

(A second drabble inspired by the episode "Hot Lips and Empty Arms," because that first one was depressing. And not really indicative of the Margaret we know.)

**Turning Point, Take Two**

Once upon a time, a letter from an old friend had lit a fire under Margaret, sent her scrambling for a transfer out of the loony bin known as the 4077th and toward a normal life.

She'd transferred to the 8055th, where she was delighted to find order, discipline, and like-minded people. She excelled.

Now she stood in front of her campmates, about to be named their commander… the lone woman C.O. of any M*A*S*H unit in Korea.

Margaret closed her eyes and in a moment of sudden clarity, knew exactly when her life had changed for the better.


	9. About Face

Author's Note: Sorry the last batch was mostly depressing. These being AU drabbles, some will be silly, some will be bizarre… and some will be darker than the series was. I'll try to be mindful of striking a good balance.

But speaking of dark…

----

(Inspired by the episode "Officer of the Day.")

**About Face**

"I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune. I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, 'Carry Me Back to Old Virginny,' I'll even hara-kiri if you show me how… but I will not carry a gun!"

At the time, it was true. It was truer than true. At the time, he believed it with every fiber of his being.

He'd _hated_ guns.

But he'd been young then.

People change as they get older.

He looked down at the pistol. It felt heavy in his hand.

Yeah. People change a lot.


	10. Dear Trapper

(Inspired by the episode "Check-Up.")

**Dear Trapper**

Still can't believe that ulcer was your ticket home. You lucky bastard, you. Hope you're enjoying your life Stateside with that beautiful wife of yours and those sweet little girls.

But Trap, you would not believe the windbag they sent to take your place. Hoity-toity Boston blueblood by the name of Winchester. Positively insufferable. He and Burns together make this lethal tandem… one perpetually on his high horse, the other a perpetual horse's ass.

I'm tellin' ya, those two are gonna drive me to drink. I don't suppose you'd consider coming back? This war is just no fun anymore.


	11. There Oughtta Be a Slaw

(Inspired by the episode "Adam's Ribs.")

**There Oughtta Be a Slaw**

"Radar!"

He bolted awake.

"You gotta get back on the phone. Call Adam's Ribs again."

"_Again_? Are you crazy?"

"I forgot the cole slaw. Don't you understand what a monumental oversight that was? An oversight of epic proportions—"

Before Hawkeye got going on one of his rants again, Radar went to the phone and placed the call. Dearborn5 -2750.

The cole slaw was on its way.

----

Hawkeye put a huge forkful of cole slaw into his mouth. Chewed, swallowed.

It seemed like everyone leaned forward.

"Eh," he said with a sheepish shrug. "It's actually not as good as I remembered."


	12. If Only

(Inspired by the episode "Abyssinia, Henry.")

**If Only**

Henry Blake steps off the plane and watches as his family runs to greet him. He meets his infant son for the first time. He strokes Molly's hair, lifts Janie high in the air, and gives Andrew a playful smack on the arm.

Henry Blake returns home.

He learns his wife's body all over again.

He jokes with the gynecologist next door.

He tells his kids stories about a crazy cross-dressing corporal and a sweet farmboy who could practically read his mind.

He takes out the garbage. He pays the bills. He laughs.

Henry Blake lives happily ever after.


	13. At Kimpo

(Inspired by the episode "Welcome to Korea.")

**At Kimpo**

"You bastard!"

Trapper whirls around at the sound of Hawkeye's voice. His expression's one of utter surprise.

"You were gonna leave without a word?"

The shocked expression transforms into an enormous lopsided smile. "Hawk!"

"Don't 'Hawk' me. You just left—no note, no nothin'. What the hell?"

Trapper shrugs, palms up. "What's there to say?" He seems genuinely baffled by Hawkeye's fury.

Just a year of living side by side… best buddies… sharing _everything_. That's all. That doesn't mean anything? Doesn't rate a goodbye?

"You're right," Hawkeye agrees, trying to sound nonchalant. "Nothing to say."

He turns and walks away.


	14. At Kimpo II

(A second AU drabble inspired by the episode "Welcome to Korea.")

**At Kimpo II**

"Captain Pierce?" Radar said. "This is our new surgeon, Major Ashe."

"Captain Pierce!" Ashe barked as he extended his hand, which Hawkeye shook. "Looking forward to this assignment. I trust the people are competent? Disciplined?"

Hawkeye sputtered. "Uh… well..."

Ashe looked disapprovingly down his nose. "I certainly hope there's not a lot of tomfoolery. I can't abide tomfoolery." He gestured impatiently. "Shall we go? I'll just read my Bible on the ride to camp."

Hawkeye felt his stomach drop with disappointment. The man was almost an exact replica of Frank Burns.

Oh, this was going to be one long war.


	15. Return Engagement

(Inspired by the episode "Change of Command.")

**Return Engagement**

"That the new C.O., Radar?" Klinger asked as the jeep approached.

"Yeah."

Klinger squinted. "He kinda looks like… doesn't he look like that General Steele who visited a few months ago?"

"Can't be!" Radar said, though he had to admit, the resemblance was remarkable. "That guy was crazy. And not a doctor. Anyway, Generals don't command M*A*S*H units."

Klinger shook his head and patted Radar's shoulder. "Keep tellin' yourself that, Radar."

Radar watched in disbelief as General Bartford Hamilton Steele (three e's, not all in a row) pulled up in front of his quarters… and took command of the 4077th.


	16. EverDiminishing Circles

(A double drabble—200 words—inspired by the episode "Hawkeye.")

**Ever-Diminishing Circles**

When Hawkeye first came into this hut, injured and bleeding, he informed the Korean family: "It is a medical fact that there is no danger of dying if you fall asleep while you have a concussion."

Yeah. He just keeps telling himself that.

But to be safe, he's been running at the mouth for God-only-knows how long. To talk is to stay conscious. He's recited the bones in the skull… waxed poetic about the whitefish from Sol and Sol's… reflected on the musicals he saw in Boston.

But he's fairly certain he's only delaying the inevitable. His head is throbbing, his thoughts are scattered, his pulse is racing.

The Korean man hands him a drink and it's very strong… he gulps it, and his head swims.

"I hate to eat and faint like this, but I don't know if I can even make it down to my knees."

He _does_ make it to his knees, then pitches face-first to the floor. The family surrounds him, alarm and concern evident in their voices.

He doesn't want to die in a hut surrounded by strangers talking in a language he doesn't understand.

But he's afraid that's exactly what's happening.


	17. Happy Anniversary

(Inspired by the episode "The More I See You.")

**Happy Anniversary**

"_Listen, why shouldn't we? Why couldn't we? Let's just—let's!"_

"What kind of a proposal was _that_, Grandpa?"

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" Hawkeye said, curling his arm around Carlye's waist.

"It's not even remotely romantic," Annie objected.

Carlye said, "I have to admit, I was less than flattered by the words, and the fact that he walked into a corner while saying them—"

"Grandpa!" Annie scolded, eyes wide.

"But the look on his face told me everything I needed to know. Whatever we had then… we still have now." She kissed her husband. "It's been a wonderful 35 years."


	18. In the Dark

(Inspired by the episode "Out of Sight, Out of Mind.")

**In the Dark**

Hawkeye felt the bandage being removed. Major Overman, the eye doctor, pulled the cotton off his lids, saying, "Open your eyes slowly."

Hawkeye did as he was told… blinked, stared… but he was staring at nothing. At blackness. Not even a faint image to latch onto and try to bring into focus.

Nothing.

"I… They… They're not working, Doc. I still can't see." He lifted his head up, as if he _could_ see, as if he could look into Dr. Overman's face and find some solace there. His heart raced. "Jesus Christ. What now?"

His question was met with silence.


	19. Dear Sidney

(Inspired by the episode "Dear Sigmund.")

**Dear Sidney**

What is this, you go to a surgical hospital that's practically on the front lines for a "vacation?" This is not healthy. Perhaps you have some kind of subconscious death wish.

Ach du lieber! And the people you choose to associate with as you try to overcome your state of depression? These are not psychologically sound people. Practical jokes? Juvenile… obvious cries for attention. Anger turned sideways? The young man should simply express himself properly.

If you ask me, they—and you—clearly have repressed sexual issues.

You _did_ know who you were writing to, didn't you?

Your colleague,  
Sigmund


	20. Hot Lips, Cold Feet?

(A double drabble inspired by the episode "Margaret's Marriage.")

**Hot Lips, Cold Feet?**

Outside, the sound of choppers filled the air. Inside the tent, the ceremony had only just begun.

"Keep it moving, Father!" Potter urged.

"Do you, Margaret, take Donald to be your lawful wedded husband?" Mulcahy hurriedly asked.

Margaret hesitated. She looked at Donald, then at Frank.

Potter prodded, "Need to hurry this along, Margaret." It sounded like there was a whole fleet landing out there in the compound.

Time, like chopper blades, spun out. The war was calling them. But there was unfinished business here.

Margaret blinked, shook her head, and said, "I… I don't."

B.J. exchanged looks with Hawkeye. "She _what_? She doesn't?"

"Is she kidding?" Hawkeye said. "This guy's all we've heard about for months!"

"Margaret?" Donald asked, bewildered.

Margaret faced him. "I'm sorry, Donald, but… I don't think I want this after all."

She cast another meaningful look at Frank but didn't say anything else. She simply dropped her bouquet of flowers and fled the tent.

For a moment, nobody moved. It was all so shocking. There was too much to absorb and process. Then Radar reminded them, "Incoming wounded!" as he raced out.

"Yeah," Hawkeye said with a sympathetic glance at Penobscot, "wounded in here, too."


	21. To Hell and Back

(A double drabble—200 words—inspired by the episode "Fade Out, Fade In.")

**To Hell and Back**

"It was just dreadful," Charles said into the phone as he poured himself a cognac with his free hand, then swirled the liquid in his glass. "The doctors were closer to clowns than surgeons. You can't imagine the riff-raff I was forced to associate with… a transvestite medic, a country-bumpkin company clerk. The conditions were horrific. Living in a _tent_, with other _people_. And the food… well, it was simply inedible. There was a constant odor around the whole camp…" He trailed off, wrinkling his nose at the sense memory. He could go on with the litany of atrocities, but why bother? It was only agitating him.

On the other end of the line, his mother empathized. "Oh Charles, it does sound perfectly awful."

"Simply one of the worst experiences of my life, Mother. But happily, it's all over now. I'm back at Tokyo General, back to civilization. In my own hotel room, with my own bathroom. There are clean sheets on the king-sized bed." He took a sip of the cognac as he looked around his luxurious room. "Thank God. Two days in that hellhole was quite enough. Can you imagine if I'd had to stay?"


	22. Revenge

(Inspired by the episodes "Last Laugh" _and_ "The Light That Failed.")

**Revenge**

Leo Bardonaro loved a good practical joke. Well, he loved _perpetrating_ them. He wasn't, however, too wild about being on the receiving end. So, when he found himself lost in the middle of Nowhere, South Korea, sitting in a jeep that had just run out of gas, he vowed revenge on that bastard B.J. Hunnicutt.

Weeks later, safe and sound on U.S. soil, he remembered that vow. He addressed a package to Captain B.J. Hunnicutt, 4077th M*A*S*H, South Korea, and he put the Abigail Porterfield mystery novel in it.

But just before he did, he tore out the last page.


	23. Over Hill, Over Dale

(Inspired by the episode "Patent 4077," in which Klinger accidentally threw out Margaret's wedding ring.)

**Over Hill, Over Dale**

Margaret's wedding ring went from the garbage dump into the beak of a crow who thought the shiny object looked good enough to eat. He was wrong.

The crow dropped it in a field, where a farmer boy picked it up. That night, he gave it to his mom.

The boy's mom needed money more than jewelry, so she sold it to a peddler who came by the next day.

Months later, the peddler showed it to Margaret, who studied it, noticed the inscription—including the "n" in "never"—then politely said no, she already had one she liked better.


	24. Facing the Facts

(Inspired by the episode "What's Up, Doc?")

**Facing the Facts**

Like the nurse she was, Margaret went through the checklist in her head: morning sickness, irritability, lateness.

No… can't be.

But the facts were the facts. And yeah, it was upsetting that she could be discharged from the Army for this. That was bad enough.

But worse…? Even worse was… well, she could do the math. Yes, she'd been with Donald a few weeks ago, true.

But a couple weeks before _that_, she'd been with… someone else. She shut her eyes, in complete disbelief. But it was true.

Not only could she be pregnant… but the baby could be Hawkeye's.


	25. Bea and Jay's Son

(Inspired by the episode "Lil.")

**Bea and Jay's Son**

"Wake up… Brian James Hunnicutt!" Hawkeye smacked him on the butt.

"Huh?" B.J. muttered, groggily opening one eye.

"Brian James! Brian James!" Hawkeye sang triumphantly. "I know what B.J. stands for!"

"Hawkeye, I don't know where you got your information—"

"Telegrams, my good friend Brian James. I sent telegrams to your family and friends. And one of them kindly came through."

B.J. couldn't help it… he had to laugh. The whole thing was too funny.

Making it even funnier was the fact that Brian James was _not_ his name.

No point in telling Hawkeye that, though. He'd never believe it.


	26. Little Mac

(Inspired by the episode "An Eye for a Tooth.")

**Little Mac**

I don't get any of the glory—that goes to the guy I work with. I'm sure you've heard of him. Toby Hill? Everybody calls him a hero. He's always being showered with praise, getting promotion after promotion, medal after medal. Has to practically fight off the girls.

And me? I don't get much of anything. No real acknowledgement. No accolades.

I put my butt on the line just as much as he does, but does anyone care? Does anyone even give me a thought? Ha!

Boy, considering everything I put up with… I guess I really _am_ a dummy.


	27. Memento

(Inspired by the episode "Dear Sis.")

**Memento**

"The company clerk at Charles's unit says that Charles is homesick and unhappy. He was wondering if we could send him something from home, something to cheer him up a bit."

Her husband scoffs. "Honestly! How old is he? Send a keepsake to lift his spirits? Ridiculous."

She's still holding the letter. "I could send his tobogganing cap…"

"You'll do no such thing. He's a grown man, an accomplished surgeon, for God's sake. Stop treating him like a child."

She shrugs, sets the letter aside. Her husband is probably right. No need to send anything. Her son will be fine.


	28. Playing God

(Inspired by the episode "Preventative Medicine.")

**Playing God**

_A simple appendectomy…_

Hawkeye's words came back to him full-force, nearly knocking him over.

Simple—such a dangerous word. When you're cutting into a human body, there's no such thing as simple.

_Cutting into a healthy body is mutilation,_ B.J. had argued.

_Why didn't I listen to him?_ Hawkeye wondered. _Why did I insist on going through with this? _

Of all the stupid, self-righteous, arrogant…

He sat on the bench in the scrub room, shaking, bewildered, horrified. His world had gone black.

Col. Lacy had died on the table. And Hawkeye Pierce had gone from healer to killer.


	29. Inside the Pearly Gates

(A double drabble inspired by the episode "Good-bye, Radar.")

**Inside the Pearly Gates**

"Are you Radar's Uncle Ed?" the man in the fishing hat asked as he approached.

"That's me," Ed said, extending a hand. They shook. "You know Radar?"

"Knew. Everything's past tense up here, I'm afraid." Smiling, the man added, "Yep, he was my company clerk in Korea. Don't know what I would've done without him. Kid had a real knack, let me tell ya. Oh, sorry, where are my manners? Name's Henry… Henry Blake. Former C.O. at the 4077th." He pointed down. "Radar'll be going home now, since you've… moved on. Hardship discharge."

Ed looked down and was astonished to see an Army camp in Korea, where his nephew was solemnly packing to go home. Next to him, a hairy guy sat at a desk, struggling with paperwork. "Discharge," Ed echoed. "With everything that's been going on, I have to admit that thought hadn't occurred to me, but I'm glad to hear it. His mother needs him now."

"Don't worry," Henry Blake said, putting an arm around Ed's shoulders amiably. "They'll both be fine. We know things like that up here." He gestured into the distance. "C'mon, take a load off, join the party." He grinned. "Do you play poker?"


	30. Have You Meta My Father?

(A double drabble inspired by the episode "Lend a Hand." No, that's not a typo in the title.)

**Have You Meta My Father?**

"Hand me that bag," Hawkeye said, "I'm starved."

"You're gonna eat while you're driving?" Borelli asked, horrified.

Hawkeye shot him a look. "Yeah, I am. Is that OK with you? No, never mind, don't answer that. It's not like you're my _father_."

"Actually, I am. Isn't that why I'm here for a second time?" Borelli snorted. "Although I sure do seem different. Last time I was a drunk, you know. So much for continuity."

Hawkeye shrugged. "Who remembers? Last time I saw Borelli was five years ago."

"The Korean War only lasted _three_ years, genius. Sure am glad your mother and I bothered to send you to college."

"You're not my father!"

Borelli looked out the window. They were nearing Battalion Aid. "What's going on this time, anyway?"

In between bites of cheese, Hawkeye replied, "Despite the fact that I see you as a controlling jerk and a pain in the ass, we learn how to work together."

Borelli gave yet another derisive snort but said nothing.

"You know," Hawkeye said slowly, "I could always have you killed off at Battalion Aid. Lots of bad things can happen out here at the front."

Borelli gulped. "I'll be good," he promised.


	31. Foolish Games

(Inspired by the episode "April Fools.")

**Foolish Games**

It's just a prank, Potter thought frantically.

Simple plan. Dan would get the doctors all riled up… antagonize them… push them until they finally broke and did something stupid. And sure enough, here in the O Club, that something stupid turned out to be drenching Dan in beer.

Bingo.

So Dan had gone down. Faking a heart attack. Only…

Evidently he wasn't faking after all. He wasn't getting up.

Pierce was pounding on Dan's chest, trying to get a heartbeat, trying to resuscitate.

It's a joke, Potter thought again, panic rising.

C'mon, Dan, get up. Say it: April Fool's!

Right?


	32. Effective Words

(A double drabble—200 words—inspired by the episode "Letters.")

**Effective Words**

When Ronnie Hawkins received the letter from Dr. Pierce, stationed in Korea, he almost didn't read it. But then the teacher made all the kids read their letters out loud, so he had no choice.

He read it, but he kind of sneered afterward. What did this doctor know about him? About his brother? This dumb doctor didn't understand what his life was like.

But something made him keep the letter… made him read it every now and then. There was something about the phrase "look for good wherever you can find it" that resonated with him.

When Ronnie was 16, he was in a terrible car accident that temporarily paralyzed him, and permanently ended his dream of being a pro baseball player.

Ronnie could have been bitter, but those words came back to him: "look for good wherever you can find it." His accident may have sidelined him, but he found a renewed interest in books and academics. He graduated from high school at the top of his class… then went on to Yale.

Eight years later, he was Ronald Hawkins, M.D. And his first job after med school was at the Crabapple Cove clinic… working alongside Hawkeye Pierce.


	33. In the Blink of an Eye

(Inspired by the episode "Operation Friendship.")

**In the Blink of an Eye**

It was a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The autoclave exploded just as B.J. walked past it, and the resulting injury to his arm robbed him of his career.

Just like that, he was a surgeon no more.

Discharged from the Army, he returned home, tried to pick up the pieces of his shattered life.

He drank a lot. He felt directionless. He missed Hawkeye. There was a haze where his life used to be.

Then one day his daughter said, "I'm happy you're home, Daddy."

And just like that, the haze was lifted.


	34. Meanwhile, Back in Mill Valley

(Inspired by the episode "Oh, How We Danced.")

**Meanwhile, Back in Mill Valley**

"It's my wedding anniversary today," she says as she sits up in bed, absently smoothing the sheets with nervous hands.

"Oh?" he says as he shakes a cigarette out of the pack, locates his matchbook, and lights it. After taking a long drag, he offers her a puff.

She holds up a hand, saying, "I don't smoke."

He shrugs, takes another drag. "So where's your husband?"

"In Korea. He's a surgeon over there."

"You didn't tell me you were married…"

She cocks her head. "Would it have mattered?"

"No." He stubs out the cigarette, leans over her. "Not at all."


	35. Sometimes a Cigar Is Just a Cigar

(Inspired by the episode "Bless You, Hawkeye.")

**Sometimes a Cigar Is Just a Cigar**

_Achoo!_ Hawkeye bellowed.

"I thought you were done with that," B.J. said. "Your repressed memory came to the surface and voila! Your sneezing was all gone."

"Thanks for that recap, Beej," Hawkeye said sarcastically, then let out another Swamp-rattling sneeze. "I don't know what to tell ya. Maybe there are more repressed memories where that one came from…"

That's when the tiny kitten scurried out from under Charles's cot and dashed to the Swamp door. Hawkeye and B.J. exchanged blank looks.

"Oh," Hawkeye said. Then he stood up to let the reason for his sneezing out of his tent.


	36. Message from Beyond

(A crossover ficlet—or quintuple-drabble, at 500 words—inspired by the episode "Blood Brothers" as well as the 1990 movie "Ghost," both of which featured Patrick Swayze. Hopefully you've either seen "Ghost" or have a passing knowledge of the character played by Whoopi Goldberg, otherwise this may not make much sense.)

**Message from Beyond**

Hawkeye was home from the war almost six months when the medium showed up at his office, introducing herself as Oda Mae Brown. She sat down in the chair he offered her and announced, "I have a message for you from Gary Sturgis."

Hawkeye recognized the name immediately. His mind went back to Korea and he recalled a young, good-looking blond soldier who'd been unfailingly loyal to his wounded buddy… and who'd had leukemia, as Hawkeye had discovered when looking into a microscope.

"Gary Sturgis," Hawkeye repeated. "Is he…?"

Oda Mae nodded to her left. "He's dead, yes. But he's also right here next to me, asking me to deliver a message to you."

"A message?" Hawkeye was more than a little suspicious, not believing in the afterlife, much less that ghosts could communicate from it.

"Made me come all the way here to Middle-a-Nowhere, Maine… said that a phone call wasn't gonna do it," she started to ramble, then suddenly looked toward her left, as if someone there had spoken. "OK, OK!" she snapped to thin air. To Hawkeye, she added, "He's got a' attitude, this one. Wants me to get to the point." Hawkeye kept his mouth shut and waited. Eventually she went on, "Gary doesn't want you to feel guilty, he knows there wasn't anything else you could have done. He knows that you were upset about having to give him his diagnosis, but take heart… he's happy on the other side."

Hawkeye tried not to scoff. Best to just get this bizarre episode over with, humor the woman until her work here was done.

Oda Mae leaned forward. "You shouldn't despise death so much, he says."

Now _that_ Hawkeye had to respond to. "I'm a physician. It's my job to despise death. To fight it with every ounce of my being."

"Well, Gary says death is kind of wonderful. It's nothing to be afraid of—he wanted you to know that. He's happy."

Hawkeye spread his hands, "Well, thank him for that information, but I'm still going to do my damnedest to keep my patients alive and healthy. I took an oath."

Oda Mae tilted her head, shrugging. "Hey, I'm just the messenger, and I done what he asked me to do. I'll leave you alone now." She stood, then froze in place for a long moment, listening… apparently not done delivering her message after all. She looked back at Hawkeye and said, "You should clear the ice off the back porch steps before somebody slips and falls."

Hawkeye let out a little laugh to disguise the fact that he was completely unnerved. The back porch steps _were_ in fact still icy from the last storm… and how the hell did this woman know that? He said, "What—Sturgis told you that?"

Oda Mae was halfway to the door now, but she turned and looked at him. "No, Dr. Pierce. That was your mother." She gave him a smile, her hand on the doorknob. "She says hello."


	37. Left Out

(Inspired by the episode "Where There's a Will, There's a War.")

**Left Out**

In shock and disbelief, just like everyone assembled in Col. Potter's office, B.J. tried to focus as Father Mulcahy read the will.

The bathrobe to Winchester. A nickel to Mulcahy. The Groucho glasses to Margaret. _The Last of the Mohicans_ to Col. Potter. The Hawaiian shirt to Klinger.

And… that was it. B.J. blinked. He hadn't even been mentioned.

Hawkeye had been killed by mortar fire as he was driving back from Battalion Aid. The will had been found stuffed in his duffel bag.

A little something for everyone… well no, not _everyone_.

All B.J. got was a broken heart.


	38. Aftershock

(Inspired by the episode "Sons and Bowlers.")

**Aftershock**

Hawkeye lifts the bottle to his mouth, takes a swig. He doesn't even taste it.

He looks at the half-packed bag on the floor next to him. He has to finish packing but doesn't have the strength.

Hardship discharge. He's wanted to go home almost from the moment he arrived… but not this way. No, never this way.

He takes another drink, leans back. Everything hurts… his body, his mind, his soul.

His father died on the operating table. It doesn't seem real. Hawkeye's all alone. He's not just the man of the family now… he _is_ the family.


	39. Unforgettable

(Inspired by the episode "Hey, Look Me Over.")

**Unforgettable**

"Hey, I know her!" Hawkeye exclaimed as he squinted at the grainy black-and-white picture on the Pierces' television.

His father set the newspaper aside, directing his attention to the TV. Ted Mack's _Original Amateur Hour_ flickered on the screen, where a cute, dimple-cheeked brunette was singing "Blue Hawaii" and accompanying herself on the guitar. "You do?"

"Yeah, she was one of the nurses at the 4077th." Hawkeye marveled as he stared at Nurse Kellye taking her shot at fame and fortune.

"She's pretty good," Daniel said.

Hawkeye smiled. "And on top of that, she's cute as hell."


	40. To the Rescue

_Author's Note:_ Thanks, drabble fans, for reading yet another collection!

* * *

(A double-drabble inspired by the episode "Goodbye, Farewell and Amen.")

**To the Rescue**

The baby is crying… too loud… much too loud…

Enemy soldiers are passing nearby and they're bound to hear it. How could they not?

Hawkeye's frozen in fear at first, willing the infant to stop crying… to please be quiet…

_Please.  
_  
Then he moves. He doesn't know exactly what he's going to do, but he has to bring an end to the noise... _has_ to… It really is a matter of life and death.

He approaches the mother and glares, snarling, "Keep that damn baby quiet!"

She looks at him, clearly in agony. Her expression says: _I'm trying, I'm trying.  
_  
And that's when B.J. moves briskly past him, going directly to the mother, calmly lifting the baby from her arms. He cradles the infant, smiles and makes "coo"ing sounds in little more than a whisper, tickles its tummy.

And the baby stops crying. Just like that. It goes completely silent, gazing up at B.J. with wide, inquisitive eyes. Hawkeye looks from the baby to B.J. to the relieved mother.

For a very long moment, there is no movement and no sound.

The danger passes. The tension passes. Eventually the driver starts the bus again, and heads on back to camp.


End file.
